You Didn't

by Sean Eldon

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Dan Loughrin
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Dan Loughrin dang, reverb . com vids got me fucked up on Sean. shouts outs to yew toob. this is a gem of a record check it out Favorite track: The Final Migraine.
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about

delightfully expensive hand-cut vinyl for sale here: austinsignal.com/vinyl-on-demand-store-old/sean-eldon-you-didnt-12-black-lp

this is a record that took a long time to make because i have various mental illnesses. this record is about mental illness. this record is free / pay-whatchu-want to download and if you want to buy a physical copy on twelve inches of vinyl, that will cost you a lot of money.

credits

released December 31, 2016

recorded sporadically from january 2015 to december 2016
alyssa jane voorhis did the artwork only
sean eldon qualls played all of the instruments and sang all of the things and wrote all of the things
dylan piskula recorded tracks 4, 6, 10 at wall to wall in chicago (RIP) and 7, 8 at minbal in chicago
joseph saliba recorded track 3 at some weird place in boston
seth engel recorded track 5 at the owlery in chicago
sean eldon qualls recorded tracks 1, 2, 9 in his apartments in boston and chicago
sean eldon qualls sorta mixed all of this i guess
12" record cut by hand at austin signal deep in the heart of texas
no one else did anything else

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about

Sean Eldon Chicago, Illinois

I am a professional songwriter, arranger, musician, recording engineer, and "producer" based out of Chicago. Hire me, buy my music, and send beer, goddammit.

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Track Name: Two Thousand Thirteen
i'm feigning a faint
claw at the walls and the floors and scrape up the paint
note that the finish is finished
and ain't many things i can do, 'cept maybe polish what ain't
yet been covered with tape or a bungled attempt at repair
stare and i stare
wish that it were all just the same kind'a scrape

oh! what an artist i'd make!

but all that i know is from all the things i never read
quoting indirectly from all the things i never read
thumbing through the notes now, but no one'll ever notice that
maybe i ain't that well-read
oh, but i ain't that well-read
what if i ain't that well-read?

steady-as-she-goes is just as steady as i'll go
in finding out what's here

i wish i could sing
wish that someone would identify with me and sing as i mean it to be
crammin' all the syllables in like this dream
i had in two thousand thirteen
where all of the bodies move cleanly in sequence
and something is there
i can't see a thing, but i know that they're there
quoting and quoting and quoting
what i ain't quite yet read
what if i ain't that well-read?
oh but i ain't that well-read
Track Name: Jack
i take it you heard about my
sudden change of pace and how i went and flipped my brain
but i can't help but think that the same thing
will continue to be a hinderance to the life i'm tryin'ta make

and when i'm bold
and i find a way to shape the mold
i keep my reflection just where i can see
can't trust a man who don't

i done hit some major setbacks
hopin' for recovery soon
what i wanna know is
am i gonna take that crap, jack?
i don't think i've gotten what's due

what's left to do aside from simply lookin' up?
a simple lookin'-up
ain't gonna hurt no one
ain't much that you can do
that's gonna make it easier
but things are lookin' up

we made over somewhere in the middle
we're takin' stands for everything we sit upon
Track Name: Excuses EXCUSES
i read the sunday times on monday
a little behind the times but hey,
is that where that saying comes from?
i kick my shoes off just one at a time
a little reminder that patience
could be what we’re made of

well, now i can only ask for less
but refuse to beg for it
‘cos that’s where i came from

forget about the useless
tell me what's the uses
all i've exhausted are them old excuses
excuses, excuses
tell me what the use is

fleetin’, shootin’, nothin’ on my side
the busiest bee has the most to give
and that’s what i’m aimin’ for
keepin’ myself well-occupied
procrastination just ain’t on the current agenda

but now i can only ask for less
and refuse to beg for it
‘cos that’s what i’m made of

enough about the useless
tell me what's the uses
all i've exhausted are them old excuses
excuses, excuses
tell me what the use is
Track Name: Man
i've walked this road a few times
i got no clue i must admit
ain't never seen what makes me
'cos i done squandered every bit
flip on the nebulizer, honey
i need to take a breath

who'll keep the wind above me?
who pulled the ground up from me?
who made a man out of me?
who made a man out of me?

take comfort in my spare time
though as of late there's quite a bit
fell off the workin' wagon
before i had the chance to quit
so put my shoes on for me baby
i'm goin' out for air

who'll keep the wind above me?
who pulled the ground up from me?
who made a man out of me?
who made a man out of me?

pick me up, get me outta the bed
see what's what, no use runnin' ahead
i'll take what i can get when it falls into my hands
first thing's first -- pull me back from the dead

so take some time out for me, baby
i might not have much left

who'll keep the wind above me?
who pulled the ground up from me?
who made a man out of me?
who made a man out of me?
Track Name: The Wrong Place
see the way and weigh your options when
you can seize the day, become the former friend
nobody cares when you leave. they hope that you left.
pack your bags and zip the pockets up
stuff a box or four with all the remnants of
seven or eight years of what you ain't disposed of

it's the weight of the world you shoulder constantly
as you struggle to find what you should struggle to be
nobody guiding the way. the struggle is real.

think of all the good in moving forward one of these days
remember all the time you wasted in the wrong place
pray that all the answers bubble up and start showing their face
remember all the time you wasted in the wrong place

and if you ain't well-to-do, there's still a chance for you
'cos there's a world above with no relation to
hitting your knees in defeat the lighten the mood

turn a cheek and say your good side is tucked away
that it's just the way you deal with everything
no one'll notice. they never notice a thing.

think of all the good in moving forward one of these days
remember all the time you wasted in the wrong place
pray that all the answers bubble up and start showing their face
remember all the time you wasted in the wrong place
Track Name: Silently Doing Nothing
watch the volume of your steppin'
don't disturb the peace beneath
and sneak your way through each and every door
another state of being unnoticed
bordered by trees of some glossed-over forest
for which you never cared to brace yourself for

just turn back the smile
and widen up your eyes
just to be that much more sure
that you're still alive
Track Name: Doing Everything Loudly
you'd never believe just what i seen
it's one for the records
tell the forgotten children
we've got the answers
the money is dried and crumpled up
it's not for you beggars
tell the forgotten children to forget the answers
tell the forgotten children that we've got the answers

i'm seeing the stride of pride from
all the people we ain't heard
making believe i can't tell what
could be the matter
boarding the couch for fight or flight
and making impressions
got here a little late for change
at least that's my story

we know we wanna revolt
we can't exactly revolt
we know we wanna revolt
we know exactly what's wrong
Track Name: Forntla Lboe Dmaege
it ain't no bother
i'm begging you to ride up with high hopes
but something underneath me, beside and above me
is swallowing me quickly, don't you know
seeing you sweating
like every single second
because i told a joke or two
but i ain't about to dump my sense of humor
because it's about the only thing i do
and i ain't one to dump what i do

when all of your expressions come in blank
you didn't think that i'd be me

and if i bother
to reach into another black hole
well there would be a deeper, darker black hole
and i'd not perceive it, don't you know
because i made a mess in some hole

and i might once and finally give in
but you didn't think that i'd be me

when everything you say is falling flat
and everything i hear is always that
be careful how you think i played it back
you didn't think that i could hear
Track Name: Nerves
the beginning of the end
drop your jaw and suck it in
the beginning of the end
ain't think i'd have seen it, but i did
and if anyone at all had warned me
well maybe i just ignored the warnings
prefer to keep some peace up in this head

and what if i seen it coming
don't mean i meant for nothing down and broken
ain't no use sleeping
now that we're fucked and freaking out and over

would be ripping out my heart
if not for things i ain't wrapped up
what about the other part?
the part that says we're bound and fucked
oh...
and if anyone had asked one question
not that they didn't, but i can't see what the problem is
from deep inside this hole

and what if i seen it coming
don't mean i meant for nothing down and broken
ain't no use sleeping
now that we're fucked and freaking out and over

i hear you're dealing with it somehow
i'd like to hear it if you're dishing out
it ain't alright because i know it now
we should be dealing with it somehow
i heard you reached into another world
i'd like to know the way and know it well

just 'cos i meant to see it
don't mean i really seen it
Track Name: The Final Migraine
wait ’til it takes hold
out of the way of the light and the unknown
relax, at least that’s what you’re told
apparently i can behave as i want

some say they’ve found the way
to go and gray it all out
i find pieces of my
anatomy on the ground

where do i go?
it’s fairly obvious where
watch me explode and i’m out of here

gonna seize and flap and kick my legs about
won’t make no mention of vitamin i
or how it might could help me out
the pulse stands tall and
pushes the pulse about
go breed the weed that
feeds the need to
shut your eyes and now

some say they’ve found the way
to go and gray it all out
i find pieces of my
anatomy on the ground
some say they'll regain
they're calling all the walls down
we made it and we faked into
taking the easy way out

where do i go?
it’s fairly obvious where
watch me explode and i’m out of here
yeah.